Change your thoughts and you change your life

What we think day after day determines our lives. It determines what we do and how we feel. If we want to bring change into our lives – on whatever level – we first need to change our thoughts and our mindset. Mindset is the sum of our mindsets, beliefs, and fundamental cognitions; and thus quite fundamental. But how can I change my mindset? And which specific mindsets will help me move forward in life?

The power of your mindset

The thoughts we think every day become more and more entrenched with each new day and slowly become part of our identity. Beliefs we adopt as children are particularly deeply rooted in us. As children, we are particularly vulnerable. Situations or events that are viewed objectively or from an adult's perspective Things that are "no big deal" at first glance can brand us as children and shape us forever. Perhaps you didn't experience support or affection in a situation that was important to you as a child, and since then you've unconsciously carried the belief "I'm not lovable." Perhaps a teacher once told you you were "bad at math" at school, and since then you've thought you weren't intelligent enough.

We all had experiences as children, and we all made assumptions about ourselves based on those experiences. We interpreted situations, and these interpretations eventually became beliefs; they've become part of our identity. But does that mean, conversely, that these beliefs are "true"? Not at all. We think they're true—why else would we believe them?

Striving for agreement

As humans, we strive for congruence; we want what we think to match what we do. So, for example, if we think we're not good enough, we subconsciously seek confirmation of this belief. If we don't get the job we desperately wanted, we tell ourselves, "I told you so: I'm just not good enough." Or we simply don't apply at all because we "wouldn't beat the competition anyway."

We reinterpret experiences that contradict this assumption or ignore them altogether. What about the degree we graduated with flying colors? Or the work presentation we received so much praise for? What about our best friend who told us yesterday how happy she was to have us? All of these things show that we are enough. More than enough. We are great, just the way we are. But we don't want to admit it; we don't see it at all.

Changing dysfunctional thoughts

The fact that you're reading this blog post right now shows that you want more. That you know deep down that these basic assumptions and dysfunctional beliefs aren't true. You know there's much more slumbering within you, and you want to change something. Put an end to these thoughts that hold you back or keep setting you back. But how do I change a thought that I've been carrying around with me for decades?

It's not something you can do with a snap of your fingers, but it's possible...

1. Identification

First, become aware of the thought that's holding you back. It's helpful to observe your thoughts for a few days and see which negative thoughts occur frequently.How do you talk to yourself? What do you think about yourself? What thoughts lie behind your actions or inactions?

One way to access a belief is to repeatedly ask yourself "Why?". To illustrate, let's take the example from before: You're afraid to apply for a job. Why are you afraid? "Because I'm scared." Why are you afraid? "Because I might not get the job; I'd embarrass myself in the interview, and everyone would think I was stupid. That would be totally embarrassing." Why do you think you'd embarrass yourself? "Because I might give the wrong answer" ... etc. If you keep asking "Why?", you'll eventually arrive at your dysfunctional core belief "I am..." (in most cases, "I'm not good enough" or "I'm not lovable enough" is hidden behind these dysfunctional cognitions).

2. Awareness

Once you're aware of your core belief, it's time to consider the impact of that thought. How do you feel about this belief? What decisions have you made based on it? What experiences have you had? What opportunities have you missed? How is your daily life influenced by this thought?
It's incredibly valuable to write all of this down. Take all the time you need and be aware that emotions may arise. When you write these things down, you'll see them in your mind, and you can organize and explain them. This lays the foundation for the next step...

3. Transformation

Now we want to "transform" the negative belief into a positive one. To do this, find the absolute opposite of your negative thought. For the belief "I'm not good enough," this could be "I am enough"/"I'm great the way I am"/"I'm wonderful," etc. It's important that the new statement resonates with you; that you can somehow "feel" it, even if you don't "believe" it at the moment. Write down this new belief and say it out loud three times.

Similar to step two, we now want to take a closer look at this new belief. How do you feel when you say this sentence? What would be possible in your life if you believed this sentence? What experiences would you have? What would your everyday life look like? What decisions could you make? How would you feel every day if you lived this sentence? Write down everything that comes to mind. There is no right or wrong; just feel inside yourself.

4. Anchoring

For this new thought to become part of your identity, it requires evidence and practice. By evidence, I mean that you need to gather experiences that confirm this new thought. Write down three or more situations from your past that confirm this thought (z.B. Situations in which you were loved or which you handled well.) The "there is nothing" argument doesn't apply here! Keep searching; you'll find suitable scenarios.

Now it's time to "practice" your new belief. Your goal for the next few days is to think this thought as often as possible. Write the new thought on a piece of paper and stick it on your bathroom mirror, or save it as your phone's background image. Repeat it from time to time throughout your room, or say the thought three times in a row in the morning. If you feel silly doing this, that's perfectly normal. Each time you think or say this thought, it will become easier for you. The new thought is like a seed you've planted in your mind.Every time you think this thought, you "water" the seed. But your seed doesn't just thrive in a metaphorical sense: You're strengthening real neural connections and association networks in your brain!

Core beliefs aren't just sentences that begin with "I am." General assumptions about others and the world itself are also considered beliefs or fundamental attitudes. Finally, I'd like to give you some inspiration for more "general" positive ways of thinking, which you can, of course, integrate into your power mindset if you wish!

Frau sitzt im Wald — *Photo by* *Doug Robichaud* on *Unsplash*

What mindsets will help me lead a successful life?

A successful life looks a little different for each of us. And there's certainly no magic formula for "the perfect mindset." And mindset isn't everything on the path to a happy life, of course. Nevertheless, I'd like to share with you five ways of thinking that can change your perspective on life.

1. Being busy does not automatically mean being successful.

Many very busy people may be successful in the short term – but in the long run, not only their health suffers
Just because a person is very busy or successful in their career does not mean that their entire life is running smoothly and that they have problems in their private life, for example.
Balance is key

2. Life is always FOR you.

We often fall into the victim role to protect our ego. We feel like life is constantly trying to slap us in the face.
You are the creator of your life; you can influence your life and steer it in the direction you want to go
And consequently: You are not a victim of circumstances
Things happen; but you can decide how you react to them or deal with them
Looking for the silver lining on the horizon

3. Mistakes are not the end, but the beginning.

Defeats are human. We all make mistakes; we are all on this earth for the first time – no one can do everything right away.
There is something to learn from every situation
Everyone starts small
The world won't end if you make a mistake. You can always start over.

4. Be proud of yourself!

Success is subjective. What is no big deal to one person is a major achievement for another.
You are doing great in life; celebrate your successes (no matter how big or small)
We all experience each day differently. Don't compare yourself to others; no one lives your Life besides yourself