loneliness can affect anyone. Feeling alone, even when you are among people, is not a pleasant feeling. Loneliness can become chronic, accompanied by social isolation and physical and psychological consequences You can find tips and exercises for dealing with loneliness here.

The most important thing first

First of all, it's important to accept that loneliness is a completely normal feeling and nothing to be ashamed of. Each of us has felt lonely at some point or will experience it at some point in our lives. Loneliness is a subjective and individual experience – If you feel lonely, then you are. Contact with other people is a human need, just like hunger, thirst, or sleep. Like other feelings, loneliness, if left unaddressed for a long time, can chronic and have massive impacts on other areas of life.

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What we tend to do when we feel pain, suffering, or sadness is push it away and suppress it. We hope that these feelings will eventually go away on their own. But we usually know just as well that this isn't the case...

The best, fastest and most sustainable way to deal with feelings is to face themAcceptance of one's own emotional world plays a major role in this. It is important not to immediately judge oneself for how one feels. One should look at what is going on inside oneself without judgment, as much as possible. Like a neutral observer from the outside. When dealing with one's own loneliness, Reflection exercises and a conscious Self-observation help.

Photo by Ava Sol on Unsplash

Tips + reflection exercises

For this exercise, feel free to grab a piece of paper and a pen so you can write down your thoughts and reflections. This will organize your thoughts, give you an overview, and allow you to return to what you've written in future situations if you wish.

Unpleasant social interactions

Think back to one (or more) situations in which you had contact with other people and after which you felt negative, angry, annoyed, or offended. Whether it was at the checkout in the supermarket, at work, with your relatives, friends, or other people you met.

• Now consider what your focus was in that moment/those moments. Was your attention on yourself or on the other person? Did you focus on what the other person was doing or saying? Did you pay attention to how you were presenting yourself, were you lost in thought, or were you listening attentively?

• Probably a combination of all of these things. Now ask yourself whether you're deliberately emphasizing negative aspects in the situation(s).When you feel lonely, you may find yourself judging other people's behavior more negatively than it actually was (objectively speaking).

• Was the interaction truly negative? Or perhaps more neutral or even positive? What was it actually about? What did the other person say? Did they really say something bad or negative, or did you attribute further meaning to their words? If the person reacted negatively, are you sure this reaction had something to do with you? Or are there other possibilities? Perhaps the other person's reaction wasn't meant to be negative, but came across as dismissive because they didn't have time? Perhaps the person was reacting annoyed because they were under personal stress, tired, or already irritated due to another interaction? And not because of you? …

Your thoughts about the world and other people

You can also reflect on how you perceive your environment and what thoughts you have about the world in general.

Do you generally perceive other people as a threat? Do you assume the worst about others' intentions? Do you assume others don't want you around? Have you already decided how an upcoming social interaction will go? Do you avoid situations with other people because they could potentially hurt you? Do you (unconsciously) withdraw to avoid potential pain?

If so, can you try to approach interactions more neutrally in future situations? Can you give others the benefit of the doubt? Can you accept that others aren't automatically against you? Can you try to open up a little?

Your behavior

You can also reflect on your behavior by asking yourself the following questions:

Do you avoid opportunities to spend time with others? Do you look for excuses and reasons to decline invitations? How do you behave in interactions with others? Do you push other people away to protect yourself? Do you react as if you've been attacked? Do you actively seek out new acquaintances? Do you maintain your friendships? Do you send texts or make calls on your own initiative to connect with others? Do you identify with the role of "the lonely one" and accept your status quo?

Every person and every situation is unique

Because we are all different and each of us faces our own unique situation, with diverse challenges, feelings, and thoughts, it may be that self-observation and self-reflection alone aren't enough. If this is the case for you, and you realize you can't move forward on your own, please seek professional help. There's absolutely no shame in it, nor is it a sign of weakness. Quite the opposite: It takes courage to reach out and ask for help.

Loneliness is a topic that, in my opinion, deserves more attention. We humans have built a wonderful world for ourselves with countless possibilities. But nothing we've created to make our lives easier can replace our biological need for social contact, relationships, and interactions. Most animals get what they need to survive from their environment. We humans get what we need from each other. And that's precisely what our modern world should be built on: togetherness, not individualism.

A little homework…

How about we both do something today try it out together: We contact someone; initiate an interaction.

Do it, even if you're not feeling that lonely right now. You can make someone else's day a little bit better. Maybe text a friend to say you were thinking of them. Ask them how they're doing. Or call a family member. Of course, you can also invite a colleague for coffee or take a short walk with them. Maybe try something new that you're normally too afraid of or too lazy to do, like a sport or an event.

Whatever fits into your daily routine, whatever suits you.

It might happen that nothing comes of your contact, that the person doesn't respond immediately, or that they already have other plans. But that's okay. Go into it with as few expectations as possible. It's primarily about strengthening our "social muscles." Over time, it will become easier for us to open up and approach others. Or we can help other people do just that. And that's great, too, right?

If you would like to learn more about mindfulness, healthy eating or sustainability, take a look here over.

Photo by 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlic on Unsplash